i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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