I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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