why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
