I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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