Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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