you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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