Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
