We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
