The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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