whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
