Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
