Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
