There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
that is very illegal...i love you.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
