she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
