I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
