This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
