My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize