is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
