im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
