soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
