Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
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I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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