Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
