This girl is more easily done than said...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
