I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
