he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
