I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
