I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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