just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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