i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
