he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
