She's JV to your varsity
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
