i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
