just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
