rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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