If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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