guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
