Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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