Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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