my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
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my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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