Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
