you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
