I love black thongs
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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