Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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