No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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