apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize