I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You took a bar mat shot.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
