If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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