I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize