Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize