i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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