do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
