Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
