they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
