You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
