I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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