we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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