Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
