Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
