grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
