I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it was like his penis was on wheels.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
