I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
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imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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