He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
