why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
